Start at the end

Let’s pause for a moment and go back to the last phase of your relationship. The moment before you decided that a divorce was the sensible step to make. During this period of time, most likely emotions and frustrations have been building up that finally resulted in a confrontation which cemented the decision of separation. Are there still some residual feelings about that period left that need to be aired? We don’t want unspoken emotions and frustrations cluttering up the process, as the goal of everyone – including RED mediation – is to move forward smoothly.

Sometimes, temporary arrangements need to be agreed upon that we will govern during the divorce process. Who will stay in the marital home? How will we deal with the children during this interim period? Rest assured; RED mediation will guide the conversation and help you avoid the pitfalls.

Inventory

There are so many things to be taken into account when you are separating, it’s easy to lose track. Think of various assets such as real estate, bank accounts, pension entitlements, investments, household effects, perhaps even a received inheritance… After mapping out your household, we can create an equity statement consisting of both the marital and private assets.

Being the external party, we will request all this information for a rational, fact-based approach. However, we always stay mindful of the emotional attachment to the different assets and that the story is far from the black-and-white that is listed on paper. We only move forward to the next phase of the process when you are both in full agreement of the inventory and its division.

Calculation

Based on your situation we calculate your financial capacity for child support and alimony. We are part of a network dedicated to understand the ever-evolving legal and tax system so we can make you aware of the risks and pitfalls which are applicable when divorcing.

Part of the calculation phase is showing each of you what the (financial) consequences of your divorce are and what your new financial situation will be after the divorce. We give clarity so you can build your new life with a grasp on your financials and insight into each other’s new situation post divorce so it feels reasonable when seen from both sides.

Parenting options

“How would you like to arrange the care of the children?” A significant question that we will ask – to you, your spouse and your children. We do this parallel to the process, as the question is as significant as pressing. The interests of your children are paramount, what will be the best possible situation for them? Let’s sit down and find it.

Co-parenting, parallel parenting or a visitation arrangement are forms that could be on the table. We will help you find the common ground.

Divorce agreement

By now, we have established good and mutual communication. Together with an impartial overview, we can reach an understanding that pleases both parties. This leads to a divorce agreement: a legal document that reflects what has been decided by you and your spouse.

When this document is agreed upon and signed, we can present it to the court. This should not be an issue, as it reflects the decisions that you made under our guidance. Plus, RED mediation has made sure all requirements are met for it to be a swift transaction.

Settlement

When all talking points have been discussed, and the divorce agreement and parenting plan has been agreed and signed, a joint request for divorce is submitted to the court. A few weeks later the decree will follow and can be registered with the civil registry – in the same city as where the marriage took place or at The Hague.

After this, your marriage has officially ended in the Netherlands. As you might be connected for years to come (either financially, through your children or both) this is a new phase of your relationship. It is also the moment where you will start to appreciate your decision to take on this journey in collaboration with RED mediation. It means that both of you have respected the other person at times when it is all too easy not to.